Monday, 11 April 2016

Mommy Monday - Everything You Need To Know, To Become The Perfect Mother!!




Step 1 - Have a baby!

Step 2 - Do everything you can to survive the CRAZINESS!!

If you clicked on here hoping to find a list or guidelines on how to become the perfect mum then I am really sorry to brake it to you!  There is no such thing!  Nobody is perfect.  Being a mom is one of, if not the most hardest job in the world.  There for nobody expects you to be perfect at it!  Not even your baby!

This is something I have learned since becoming a mother myself!  Looking to my own mother as an example, I mean shes the worlds best mom, I'm not joking she comes second to none!  She did and still does everything in her power to make sure my sister, brother and I are always happy but is she perfect... No?  Shes not, I'm not perfect and your not perfect and that's okay!
I have to remind myself of this sometimes especially since I started blogging.  When I first started I only wanted to blog about the good times and all the positives when this is really only half of what its like to be a mom.  I got so caught up in wanting to portray this perfect life. One where my child always sleeps and almost never cries which is utter nonsense!  

Social media is a funny thing!  You only ever get to see the side of a person who they want you to see.  I guess now I just want to share what its really like being a mom!  Of course its great and of course it has its highs but there are lows and times where you will be covered in baby poo holding a screaming baby contemplating who you are as a person! Haha

I think, actually I know so many mothers are GUILTY of knocking themselves by comparing themselves to other mothers!  Again social media and television has a massive part to play in this, in my opinion!  I recently wrote a post called 'There is no such thing as a t.v mom!  If you want to read it just click HERE!! When you watch other moms and your being really hard on yourself because you don't do it their way, or your baby isn't as well behaved as their baby, the list goes on!  Well don't be too hatd on yourself.  No two babies are alike so what might work for one isn't going to work for another!
This to me became evident when we tried to to get Dylan into the same routine Cai was in.  Naturally Cai was a great sleeper and began sleeping nights at 3 months old!  I guess our hopes were high that Dylan would be too.  We tried everything we did with Cai to get him into the same routine at 3 months and it was just not happening!  Infact, its only now within the last 3/4 days that Dylan has been going down at the same time as Cai.  So don't rush it if your baby is not a great sleeper at the beginning don't worry that doesn't mean that they are never going to sleep.  They will! Same goes for absolutely everything else.  Comparing yourself as a mother, or comparing your baby to another can be one of the most devastating things you can do.  You baby is special and unique with their own little personality from the get go!

I haven't a clue what the hell I'm doing, I worked in childcare for almost 3 years before I had Cai but did that prepare me at all for what motherhood would actually be like?  Noway!
Looking after somebody else's kids for a few hours playing dress up and singing twinkle little star and raring your own are two very completely different things!
I am absolutely winging it, I'm not an expert at the whole mother thing but I do know that I absolutely adore my boys.  I know once they're happy, safe and healthy that's all that really matters!
Who cares if the house is a wreck isn't half the fun of it wrecking it in the first place?  My only advice here would be try not to get caught up in the everyday mundane daily chores.  It doesn't matter if the washing isn't done and the floors aren't swept, once your baby in happy.  In the beginning I put so much pressure on myself to get everything done and found I was actually missing out on so much.  I found myself one day saying to Cai 'Oh sorry Cai mommy can't play with you right now I've got to do the washing up'!  It was with the sentence I sort of woke up almost.  My son wanted me to play and to just have fun with him and I was more worried about the washing.  I dried my hands and got down on the floor with him and we played all day.  It was from that moment on I decided to only do housework when the kids were sleeping or having chill time.  They don't care if the floors are swept or the washing is done.  They're not going to look back years from now and say 'Oh mom really cleaned that house didn't she'.  I want them to look back and have so many fun and memorable moments. Life is way to short, do the dishes later!!
I now tend to do my housework in the morning time just after breakfast when the kids are having some chill time, Dylan usually naps in the morning too so that's a great window of opportunity.  Then everything else gets done when the boys both go down at 7!  If you would like to see my daily routine then just let me know by commenting below and I can do that post up for you guys!

Another piece of advice I will give you is this.  The opinion of others is great.  Like when people give you advice about sleeping or weaning you will hear so many different points of the spectrum.  So what the hell is the right one?  I'll tell you... whatever works for you!  Whether that's sleeping in their own room or co-sleeping with you it really doesn't matter.  If your getting sleep too that's what counts.  Once you have the energy to deal with the madness that the next day will bring that's what counts!  I'm not going to tell you this is how you do it, this is the right way, this is the only way that your baby should sleep.  Noway!!!

So lets blow the lid on this perfect mom stuff because there is simply no such thing.  You are a mom so embrace it.  Don't spend your time worrying about this, that and the other thing.  Everything will come to you naturally and how its supposed too.  Being a mom you learn something new everyday.  I'm still learning!  Its all about trial and error and finding out what works best for you and your baby!

I make mistakes, there are accidents and there is certainly many failures but this happens to every other mom.  I would hate to put out the impression that everything in life is swell but that's just not the case.  I have days where I struggle and the only strength I have comes from my boys buts thats okay.

We are all only human.

Being a mom is the best job in the world so enjoy it!



Until next time,
Lisa.
x

P.S you will also find me on the following...
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